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Related article: Date: Mon, 14 Nov 2005 10:32:19 +0100 From: A.K. Subject: Alain's Diary - 05/14 (t+t+m adult-youth)----------------------------ALAIN'S DIARY by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2005 written on October 8th, 1990 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Dave-----------------------------USUAL DISCLAIMER"ALAIN'S DIARY" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.-----------------------------Part 5 9th of July 1972, SundayThursday night, at last, Philippe let me fuck him. I liked it really, really so much! Now I can understand why he was so insistent - it is really great to screw an ass. At first, putting it inside him hurt the tip of my dick a little as he is somewhat tight because he hasn't taken anyone there in months. But then I slipped inside him and... Wow! What a sensation! Hot and tight and... I can't even describe it properly, but I really liked it and he was urging me to "Go on, Alain, fuck me harder, make me feel all of it!" It was exciting hearing him saying so. To do a sixty-nine is also good, but it isn't everything. I enjoyed this way more than just in the mouth and if I hadn't cum soon, I would have kept going all night!Later, before sleeping, I asked, "Which do you like best, giving it or getting it?" He answered. "Both. I like getting it, but I possibly prefer giving it, Naked Little Girls Nn especially to you - you're so fantastic. But I like also giving head." I told him, "Having sex is great every way. I'm glad you taught me this way too." "Didn't I tell you that you should trust me?" he asked.Friday night he took me twice and I took him once. Then again, Saturday morning he fucked me in the ass before making me cum with his mouth. I'm starting to get used to it and I like taking it more and more. For the moment I'd rather put it in, but if it continues this way, I don't know what I would like best - possibly both ways. It's better when he takes me from the front, as I like seeing him on top, fucking me. I can see how much he likes it. While with a sixty-nine two can do it at the same time, it's a shame that two cannot put it and take it in the ass at the same time. I think that would be the height of pleasure. Ah, I also understood why two people sucking each other are called sixty-nine - 69; the two digits are like two people lying on their side sucking each other! Then, fucking in the ass, what number could that be? There are not two suitable digits - 3 could be the ass, but the dick?Yesterday afternoon, when he took me home on his motorbike, my mother told him, "Philippe, I'm really glad you take such good care of Alain." He answered at once, "It is my pleasure. Alain is always so available that it is a real pleasure having him with me." I looked at him with dark eyes, as I understood very well what he was referring to, but he had an innocent expression and, of course, my mother didn't suspect at all.Babette is working as a part time maid all summer at the home of the notary Rovere, so that she too brings home some money. It now seems that Babette is flirting with the son of the local police chief. How she can like that little fright, I really don't know. I liked the other boy more, the baker's assistant - unless this one has hidden talents (between his legs, I mean). It doesn't seem strange to me any more thinking that Babette could do some things... On the contrary, it would seem odd to me if she didn't - sex is too beautiful!Dad went to the tavern with Bernard, his work mate who lives above the pharmacist at the street corner. Mum grumbles a little, as she says that Dad wastes his money on drink, but Dad told her to stop it, as he needs to have some little fun, after he toils all day long like a mule. I think that Dad Naked Little Girls Nn is right, and I told Mum so. Even if the money I get working went all to pay for his tavern visits, I would be happy. And then, it is not that he spends so much money. Each time he orders a glass of wine, and makes it last all evening. He never comes home drunk. Dad is really a great man; I hope to become as good as he is.But now I'll hit the bed. I'll jack off nicely thinking of Philippe, and then I'll sleep.15th of July, SaturdaySurprise, surprise! The day before yesterday Madeleine and Kurt came to visit us, as they wanted to spend the 14th of July celebration here at the village. Since we don't have so much room in the house, Mom put them to sleep separated. That is, she took Corinne in her double bed and made Madeleine sleep in the same room with Babette. Then she put Kurt to sleep in my bed, with Didier, who she will also take in her double bed when I'm back at home.So, when I came home today in the afternoon, I met Kurt. He is really a handsome guy, better than in the pictures, and he is likable. He apologized for using my bed. As we were alone at that moment, I asked him if he didn't regret not sleeping with his wife. He, with his funny accent, said: "No, some facation from my woman doesn't harm!" Now Kurt is playing with Didier and the twins. He is skilled with children.July 16th, SundayYesterday night, we were hitting the bed, and Kurt says: "I always sleep naked. Bother this you?" I said, "No, please, with this temperature..." and looked at him while he was undressing. He has a stouter body than Philippe, but beautiful. He has a hint of hairs on his chest and a dick worth respect, as big soft as mine is when it's hard. Then, stark naked, he started to carefully fold all the clothes he had taken off, and he was roaming about, in front of me, without any shame. I got a hard on just looking at him and as I had just my briefs on me, it wasn't hidden very well. He noticed it and said, smiling and pointing at it, "You young and full of yen, ya?" I blushed and he said, "You not hafe a girl?" My answer was, "No, not yet." He laughed and said, "Den you hafe to satisfy mitt your hand, no?" and I said yes.I felt tempted to try with him but I Naked Little Girls Nn didn't dare. He slipped under the sheet and bade me good night. I went to the toilet to jerk off. When I went back to our bedroom, he was not yet sleeping; he looked at me and said, "Now is better, right? He is no more up, but down." Then I ask him, "You do it with your hand?" "Sure, sometimes." Then I asked him, and I really don't know where I found the courage, "And you never do it with friends?" He, "When I was a boy like you, or younger, yes, all boys do it mitt friends, no? Den dey stop. You do it mitt friends?" "Sure, sometimes." Then he, "Look for a girl, is better. You now hafe right age to start mitt de girls." and then he stopped. Of course nothing happened. I got in my bed and switched off the light, but I was thinking that I really would like trying something with Kurt.Then this morning I woke up and Kurt's sheet had slipped away and he was hard, straight up like a flagpole. I moved nearer to look at it better. I was gazing at him and I felt the desire to touch it, when he opened his eyes and said, "He always vakes up before me!" and smiled. I then said: "It's really something." And he, "Ya, Madeleine alvays says so. She is very glutton with him." So I asked him, "Do you mean... she takes it in her mouth?" and him, with the most natural air of this world: "Ya, Madeleine very skilled doing things in bed." And while saying so, he put his hand on it and caressed it. Then he sat up and said, "I go to toilet doing myself mitt hand." I said, "If you want, you can do it here. It won't bother me." "Hell, I am no more a kid. Dese tings are not done in front of others -- but alone or mitt my vife." He slipped on a bathrobe and went to the toilet.It's a pity; I would have liked doing something with Kurt. Even just to jack off together. Or possibly give him head. Who knows why he says that just kids do it? Philippe is for sure not a kid. He is more or less the same age as Kurt, and with me, he does a lot more than just jacking off! But possibly in Germany it is different than in France.18th Jul. 1972 - Tue.Yesterday the boss told me to help Thibaud all morning long. Since I like him, I went willingly. We are working and he says, "Did you go to the whores again?" "No, never." "Did you get a girl friend?" "No," I say. "Then what do you do, you just jack off?" I tell him a lie and say, "Normally yes, of course. But once I put it in a boy's ass." "A faggot?" "No, what does that matter?" "Only faggots take it up their asses, and enjoy it," he says then asks, "Would you ever take it in your ass?" Blushing, I answer, "No, what nonsense!" And he, "No shit, because you are not a fag. Only faggots like getting fucked and giving head... I'd never ever suck a cock, I'd rather die. But I did have a fag give me head, once, at the beach. God, was he good at it, even better than some women."I felt terrible. So, according to him, Philippe and I are queer!I said, "But faggots are feminine, aren't they? They talk and move like women." And he, "No way, Alain, not all of them, some of them you'd never guess what they are. Some, to look at them, are even manlier than me or you. But in bed they like taking it any way. Did you ever meet a fag?" and I, "No, never. Possibly that one that I fucked, but I don't know." And he, "Well... for me, besides that one on the shore, there were a couple of faggots that wanted to be fucked by me when I was in the army." "Did you go for it?" "Sure, each time they gave me money. You know, when you are a soldier, it is good having some money in your pocket, and also so you don't waste so much money to get your rocks off with hookers. Almost all the soldiers are game to fuck a faggot, for money or just to get off for free." "But how can you tell a fag, if they don't act like women?" "Dumb-ass, you go to parks at night or to the train station even in daytime, and you'll see it's crowded with faggots. You just pull it out and pretend to take a leak, and you stand there long enough and they come like bees to honey. If the guy is not too old or too ugly or too weird, then you just wait for him to offer you a blowjob - and you sneak into a stall and let him. If you don't like the guy, you just leave - and he gets the picture."The thought that Philippe and I could both be like that, makes me feel strange, almost ill. I ask, "But fags don't get married - they don't have kids - and they have small dicks, don't they?" He laughs out loud, "God, are you naive. What bullshit! There are plenty of them who are married and have children, and plenty with thicker, longer dicks than mine or yours!" "Oh yeah, how do you know?" "One of the ones I fucked when I was a soldier had three little children and a son your age. And the one who sucked me at the beach, had a big tool like a donkey's - something any man would envy."I felt more and more confused.In the afternoon, as soon as I was alone with Philippe, I told him what Thibaud had said, and he said, "We'll talk about that at home. Things are too busy here now." I hoped that he would set the matter straight and help me understand how wrong Thibaud was... My thoughts were all over the place.Then, when we got home, we resumed that subject and Philippe told me, "Yes, it is true that two males having sex together - taking it in their mouths and asses - are faggots." And I, my eyes bulging, asked "But we... are we?" "Well of course, you fool; we are two fucking, fucked faggots!" I was startled, "But you are married!" "Of course, one cannot go around telling people he's gay. If he gets married, the others don't think he can prefer men." "But you told me that you were not a fag, and that I wasn't either!" I said, angrily. He laughed, "Sure, or you wouldn't have come with me. You were too worried about being one. But if you really weren't a fag like me, you'd never have taken it in your mouth and, even dead, not in your ass. Yes or no?"I felt like shit. Then he said, "Hey, look, it's no tragedy! Everybody likes to have sex in his own way, and its right to do so." "But the fags... everybody makes fun of them." "Me, nobody makes fun of me. Nobody knows, do they? As for you, nobody pokes fun at you, do they?"But last night when he wanted to have sex with me, I said no and went straight to sleep. Nothing could have turned me on, I felt so bad. Then this morning he woke me up sucking my hard cock so, before going to work, we had sex again together. Then he said, "See how good it is? Why are you making such a fuss, Alain?" "Because I don't like the thought of not being normal. I hate it." "But who tells you aren't normal? I feel I'm the most normal man in the world." "Yeah, because nobody else knows what you do in bed." "What we do in bed is just our fucking business! Does your father tell you what he does in bed with your mother? No." "But they are a man and a woman, not two males!" "And so what? We are both males, both handsome males. And we like to enjoy things between ourselves. Look, I'm a man who has a woman and can make the comparison, and I'm telling it is a hundred times better with you, a male, than with her."Then today, during the lunch break, I asked Thibaud, "Tonight, if you're not doing anything, will you take me to the whorehouse with you?" "You are turned on, boy?" "Yes, and I want one good at it, the more skilled the better." "All right, stallion. There is a Spanish whore who is out of this world, and if she isn't taken, we will get her for you. Her name is Estella and she has boobs like melons!"So, after work, I told Philippe, "I'm going out with Thibaud. I'll be back for supper." And he replied, "All right, I'll wait for you."So I went with Thibaud. He asked about Estella, and then turned to me, "She is like dynamite. What do you think; you want both of us to fuck her together?" And I, "I'd rather be alone." And he, "Come on, it's more fun with the two of us - it is on me, of course." And without giving me time to answer, he says to the Madame, "A double with Estella, me and my friend." So all three of us ended up in the bedroom. I couldn't get a hard on and was ashamed. But Estella started giving me head and Thibaud shoved it in her ass, right there in front of me. After a little while in the Spanish woman's mouth and watching Thibaud pumping her ass, my dick started getting hard. Thibaud noticed, "Let's swap. You come back here and take her ass while I fuck her mouth." So I put it in her backside. It was a smooth entry, without needing creams and almost without pushing. While we both were fucking her, Thibaud put his hands on my butt and pulled me strongly and I, responding to his hands on my ass, came like a cannon.Then we left. I went back to Philippe's. I can't understand anything more. Yes, it is true; I had an orgasm with a woman, but in her ass. And then, when Thibaud touched my ass. That was the moment. I was excited looking at Thibaud, stark naked and aroused (he has a really fantastic dick when he is turned on), while looking at her naked body almost annoyed me.I'm afraid I'm really a faggot.During supper Philippe asked me what was up, but I didn't feel like talking about it with him. If he is a faggot, Naked Little Girls Nn of course he would try to persuade me that I am one, too, like he is. Fucking hell, who can I talk to, then?Philippe wanted Naked Little Girls Nn to have sex but I didn't, so I went to sleep on the couch, not in his double bed, because if I had, he would have tried. He was pissed off and shouted at me that if that's what I want, I can just go back to my own house. I'm really sorry I made him pissed off; I'm not upset with him. Or possibly I am, a little.August 4th, 1972, FridayAll these days I didn't write any more here in my diary, as I was too confused. But yesterday evening I went to see the doctor and asked him to examine me there, because I feared things were not all right. He examined me thoroughly and at the end told me, "You are completely all right, my boy! Really, everything is all right. I don't see what could have made you worry!"Then I - I don't know where I found the courage - blurted out, "Then why am I turned on by men and not by women?" After a moment, he said quietly, "It happens. Some people like their own gender. It's not an illness, there is nothing wrong. It is a natural thing; each one is made in a different way, in his own way. We are not all the same. That a male has sex with a male has happened since time immemorial, in all cultures, in all corners of the world, and even between some of the more evolved animals. If that's the problem, there's nothing wrong." And I, "But faggots are miserable people and I don't want to be a fag!""And who tells you they are miserable? Just because ignorant people say so? Kings, poets, leaders, artists were homosexual throughout history and many are so today. Each one is as he is, and this is right and good, my boy. We are not all the same, are we? Somebody likes just men, some both men and women, and some just women. And there are those who don't like sex at all. There is something there for all tastes, and that is what's good about life, that we are not all made from the same mold."I responded, "All right, but if for instance your son was gay, would you tell him this same stuff?" "Certainly! I'd have to. It's scientific fact. If he discovered a taste for his own gender, I'd tell him just be careful not to let it be known around, because people are mean. But live your life serenely. Try to find the right boyfriend, and be happy! That's what I'd tell him."Back at Philippe's home, I told him everything, and he, after all those days we had moped at each other and he was near sending me back home for good, started to laugh. "Didn't I tell you just the same things?" And I nod yes and then he says: "Come on, come to bed, it seems like a century I've had to jack off alone - because you are so weird!" I wasn't ready, "Just wait some more, Philippe, please, if you really are my friend. I still feel too weird. I can't get used to being a fag just like that." He, "We can get used to anything, believe me, but it's all right. If you don't feel like it, I'll hold out some more. But come to bed with me, anyway."Then, in the darkness, in bed, we talk some more, and he starts touching me and at first I say "No, please." But then I get turned on, so finally we had sex together again. During and afterwards, I was saying to myself "Shit, I like it. Why shouldn't I do it? Who gives a damn? I am a faggot. So what?" But I still felt strange about it.6th of August '72, SundayTwo days at home and I have thought everything over. My family treats me exactly like before, and I am always me. Then I read this entire diary straight through and told myself: fucking shit, how could you not have seen it earlier? It was all written here, I always liked males, dicks, asses. And Solange has been just a mistake, a veering off-course. I flirted with her just because everybody seemed to have a girl, not because I really liked her. Anyway, after all, Solange is the least feminine of all our girl mates. She even looks more like a kid than a girl, with her small breasts, short hair and so forth and that's why I could imagine I was interested in her. After all, I just have to talk about girls with my pals, and then do it with a nice guy. I know it won't always be easy to find somebody game for it. For now, I have Philippe, who is really a great looking male and also good in bed.Who knows why one is born to be a fag and another one not? Or does one become a fag? If it's so, when did I? Now, thinking about it, it seems to me that I have always been that way. I have to ask Philippe how long he has known about himself, - if he always was so or if he became so. The doctor told me that one in ten is a homosexual and that of the remaining nine; at least six more would be ready to do it both with men or women, in the right conditions. Like Thibaud, for instance. That leaves just three of the ten or even less does it exclusively with women. Then, I ask myself, where are all those gays, or bisexuals? Thibaud, in spite of everything, must be at least bisexual. I would really like trying it with him, but seeing how he thinks on this matter, I'm afraid if I try he'll put me down. There is Robert, who according to Didier, is like me. I would like trying it with him. When school resumes, I think that in one way or another, Naked Little Girls Nn I will really try with him. Even if it is easier saying it than doing it, also because, if what Didier told me was not true, then I would be at risk because if he says anything to our friends, the damage will be done. But, if it's true, I really would like to have sex Naked Little Girls Nn with Robert.9th of August 72 WednesdayNow that I know what I am, I always look at the handsome guys differently - I look between their legs to see if I can get a hint of what's there, and I imagine them naked and think "I would like to do it with this one" or "No, not with that one!" Or else, "Who knows if he is that one in ten, or six in ten?"Anyway with Philippe it is really great fun. Now, when he slips it inside my ass it almost never hurts any more, instead, his pumping up and down inside gives me a lot of pleasure. Or back and forth, like Monday evening when we did it standing in front of his closet's wide mirror. I liked it. I was good looking at us, it was like looking at two other people fucking, like in a movie, and instead it was him and me. Exciting! Hot! I also like slipping inside his hole and fucking him - he makes his hot channel palpitate and it is almost as if he is fingering it while I'm moving inside him.On the 12th, Philippe will start his summer holidays. He says he will give me his house keys, so I can keep sleeping in Saint Etienne and not be forced to go back every day to my village. He will be back on August 23rd; he is going to his wife and family at the beach, so I remain alone. Since his wife will be back on September 15th, we will have three weeks more to fuck. I asked him: "Will you fuck with your wife?" "Ah, at least two, three times, I must do it." "But do you like it?" "It doesn't annoy me. But I prefer you, you know it." "Possibly, there, you can find some nice boy to fuck with..." "Uh, possibly." he answers. "Instead, I have to be here, and jack off alone," I said, and he laughed.13th of August 1972 SundayPhilippe left yesterday. And Thibaud is to come back next Tuesday. I'm tempted to try it with him. I would really like doing it with Thibaud, even if he would just make me suck it and then fuck my ass, and would never suck me or let me fuck him. It's a shame that Thibaud is like that. Just thinking about doing it with him, my dick is hard as a rock. Even if he were just to fuck me, I would be happy. His dick is a little smaller that Philippe's but longer, so he would not even hurt me. First I'll suck it thoroughly, making it go down to my throat, then I'll ask him to thrust all of it inside my hot hole and screw me like-----------------Damn! I got come all over myself! Now it will be better to hit the bed. Good night.August 15th 72 WednesdayThibaud is back. I haven't yet dared to try anything with him. When we are alone and I could, I start trembling all over and think: "Now I'll ask him, now I'll..." but not a word comes out of me. Who knows if it would be easier with a girl? I don't think so. So the day passed and I said nothing. Now I am at Philippe's house. I think I will eat something then go to the movies. There is a movie with De Funes that I rather like.August 21st 1972 Monday.At last I managed to say something to Thibaud, but it didn't work the way I hoped.That is, I finally told him, "You know, Thibaud, I was thinking about what you told me about doing things with fags..." And he, calmly, "Yes, I did that a few times." "I, see, I became curious, you know. I really have no idea what it could be like, and..." "You would like to try it," he says as if it was the most natural thing in this world. "Possibly... yes. But did Naked Little Girls Nn you like it?" "I did, but not really like with women. On the other hand, there's one thing they are really skilled at - giving head." "Well, then... I would like to try, just once," I say and already I am starting to shake. My heart is in my mouth and I hope he will say "If you want to try with me..." Instead he says, "OK, why not!" and that's that. I then ask him: "So, how can I try it? Where can I find somebody who is game?" And he said, "There down by the freight-yard, after supper, amongst the bushes behind the dead-end tracks. Down there, there is always some fag just waiting for sex."I was disappointed. I had really hoped he would propose I try it with him. "But I'll be ashamed. And then, how can I recognize them?" I ask. He says, "If you go there and wait in the dark, sooner or later one will show up. If you are interested, you pull it out and, if he is interested, he will do you a nice little favor. If you don't like him, you just move elsewhere." Astounded I ask: "In the dark?" "Yes, there is very scanty light, but enough to see and to make a choice." "You've already been there, Thibaud? Do you have to pay them?" "No, never. But everybody knows that that's where the fags gather, and that they do it for free." "But isn't it dangerous?" "Dangerous? Why?" "I think I would be scared going there at night time, Naked Little Girls Nn alone." "Well, if not there, I really don't know where you can go. At the station, in the day time, it is really dangerous," he says. So I ask him: "Hey, Thibaud, you took me to the whorehouse for my first time. Would you take me to the freight-yard, too, for another first?" He starts to chuckle, but he says: "What the hell, why not? Getting a little head for free, harms nobody, right?" Naked Little Girls Nn And so I say: "And if that guy gives you his ass, will you fuck him?" "If he is young and clean and handsome... eventually yes." "Take me there, then. I want to go."So, we settled it. Tonight he can't, but we will go tomorrow evening. Well, it's better than nothing. I really hoped I could do it with him, but I didn't dare to ask him straight away. The idea of doing it with me didn't even enter his head. Probably because he is convinced I am not a fag. Anyway, tomorrow evening I'll try it with somebody. The day after tomorrow Philippe comes back and so anyway this period of solitary jacking off will be over. Hot damn!-----------------------------CONTINUES IN PART 6-----------------------------In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is http://andrejkoymasky.com If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at andrejandrejkoymasky.com ---------------------------

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